Roxane

How are you feeling right now?

I’m feeling positive today, and quite grounded actually. I feel like it’s been a good time of reflection for me personally, because I had a very busy couple of years before this so it’s been nice to stop everything and I also have some focuses each day which helps me stay grounded. So I think grounded is the word. The first couple of weeks were quite scary but I’m feeling it’s more positive than negative right now because people are spending time with people they love. I feel more connected to my mother who would have been at home with her own children all day, I think it’s lovely for the kids as well and for animals, that they get to have their people around all the time, not all rushing off somewhere. But within that I’m aware that that’s how I’m feeling but I’m also aware that I’m grateful for that, it’s not the reality for a lot of people.

What is something that you miss because of the current situation?

I miss the different rhythms of different days. There’s something about waking up every day and knowing what’s coming or knowing where you’re going to be. I miss the beach, I miss being able to get in the car and just drive out and see my mum and have a cup of tea. I wouldn’t say I miss friends particularly because we’ve been quite good with staying in touch over zoom and stuff, and I feel like people are more open to communicating in that way, but I do miss the freedom of fresh air, going for a walk – especially when the weather’s nice.

What’s something that you’ve gained?

I think I’ve certainly gained some perspective because I am doing a lot of personal work at the minute anyway through therapy because that’s what I’m studying, so this break has given me a lot of time to process some of the personal learning that I would have done over the last few years. It’s given me pause, time to reflect, time to look after myself a bit better and time with family, time with my son, time with my husband.

Who or what are you most worried about?

I’m not worried about anybody in particular, I think all of my people whom I love aren’t at risk and everybody is taking care of themselves quite well. But I would worry about the economy, I would worry about people who have lost their jobs, I would worry more about these sort of implications globally for the recovery from this. Can we all get back to work? Can we all continue to make money? Is there going to be a fallout from this that the people who were already disadvantaged are going to become more-so? Lower income jobs, the travel industry, tourism – I have a low level anxiety for the unknowns around that and how these systems of government and corporate organisations are going to ultimately look after themselves and make sure they’re all ok out of that. But that’s not very personal, that’s more abstract, so maybe that’s why I’m able to be a bit more relaxed, because I don’t have anyone that I’m directly worried about at home who I feel is lonely or isolated, I feel like everyone i know has some sort of connection that’s keeping them going.

What are you most hopeful for?

I would be hopeful that this would give people, including myself, a little bit more perspective on what’s important. That some of the systems we have might start to change. Everything is so consumer driven, I would love if it gave all of us a chance to look at what’s more important – our environment, our families, how we are, what we do, if we’re doing something that makes a difference in the world, or certainly that it’s something we care about. I hope that it gives us more perspective so we’re not just continuing to consume and destroy. But I don’t know, although I feel hopeful about that, I’m not sure that’s it’s really likely, but we’ll see. I do see, in the people that I know, a change, and I think it’s fascinating to witness how people are being more reflective and are seeing themselves more. So even on a personal level, if it gives people the opportunity to change things about their own reality that they don’t like or they’re struggling with, because that’s what we’re all looking at now – our sense of identity. Who am I? What are the things that I have created that I’m happy with? Or that give me peace or pleasure or joy? Or what are the things that don’t serve me anymore? I think this is shining a glaring light on those things, the people we’re with or who we surround ourselves with are a reflection of how we feel inside.