Gemma

How are you feeling right now?

I’m ok, all things considered. I’m doing my best, and trying to keep a balance – when I feel the need to take quiet time out or to be joyous because something has worked, I’m doing it. I’m just doing my level best, like every single other person in the world, with the circumstances that they themselves are directly dealing with. It’s rubbish on some levels, my business is severely impacted and will probably be for six months. But I’m keeping productive and positive because ultimately, this will not be the end of my story, it’s only a chapter. And whatever happens next, I have to trust that I’ll figure a way forward.

What is something that you miss as a result of the pandemic?

Connection, touch… it’s just the ability to feel like you can go out somewhere and not worry there’s a virus on a surface or in a shop or when you touch another person. Our ability to experience has been put on lockdown. It’s having to contain ourselves and hold back, so I think touch is probably the biggest thing I miss.

What is something that you’ve gained?

Clarity. I’ve been re-enforcing hard lessons around self-awareness, resilience, purpose and putting them into practice successfully in life and trying to grow even more. I was sick six months ago and a lot of the feelings I had then are similar feelings to what I have now, it’s just act two. It’s another step in life of learning what I’m made of, what other people are made of, what matters most and fighting for what I believe in. I’m a fighter, I’ve discovered that! I don’t give up. I’ve discovered that I will do whats necessary to support others, to survive, to protect, to grow and to show up in whatever form that is. But the fighter needs a break sometimes too, so I’m learning to find that balance when I need it.

Who are you most worried about right now?

I’m not actually worried about anyone, and that’s not meant to sound callous, it’s more a technical answer. I am aware of everything and have a deep empathy with it all but I have to manage the feeling of worry and keep it to what I have influence over. Worry is toxic and paralysing. I have to trust that my family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, clients are making the best decisions for themselves, their teams and for their families. I have to respect their choices. And they know Im here if they need me and I know they are there if I need them. I have questions about the impact of this on all of us, on our society. I don’t know what we’re going to be after this, as individuals and as a global community but I’m trying to limit the worry factor and do what I can within my sphere of influence. I don’t know if that’s a good way to be, but I’m trying to deal with it with grace and dignity.

What are you most hopeful for right now?

Everything. There’s always a possibility of anything happening. This will wound us but it will not stop us, this will not hold us back, this might change us but it will not stop us. There’s still tomorrow, there’s still next week, time will still march on, the sun will still rise and we will be ok. We are in this together. It’s just where we’ll be when that day dawns, that’s the important thing. I’m hopeful for everything, I have to be.